I haven’t taken it out to shoot yet. But we’re leaving for Hawaii in T-minus 2 days and I’m so elated to use it I didn’t sleep well for the last 3 nights. I go to bed reading about it. I dream about going on shoots with it, then I wake up with images in my head from said fake shoots. It’s a bit overwhelming. And I think it might be an… addiction? obsession? Or maybe I’m just anxious. I’m a mess.
And to make matters a bit more conflicting, I can’t help but feel guilty. It was a pretty large purchase. I didn’t have to sell a kidney nor touch my safety net but it still hurt especially because I try to not buy “stuff” nowadays, let alone “stuff” that’s top dollar. I wonder if Kallen wishes I had a different kind of passion. Maybe something that involves less spending of money, like a curator for online drool-worthy images of desserts (Tous les Jours desserts alone would be all the content it needed haha). But you know, I bet he’s glad I don’t have an obsession with designer handbags and shoes though. Not to bash anyone else who does (you do you, girl). But for me, that type of obsession would cause recurring spending of huge sums of money that adds no value to my life, personally.
But back to this new obsession: I think a chunk of my guilt comes from wanting to practice minimalism. I talked about The Minimalists in this post back in December. Can I justify myself though and say I did do a lot of research and weighed my options. I knew wanting to do photography professionally meant I would eventually need to upgrade my camera. I wanted to be a one camera/one lens type of girl and be the best I can with it. So I needed to be selective. I considered the digital canon mark III but as soon as I heard about the Contax 645, I became hooked. Primarily because a part of me longed to learn how to shoot film. I also purchased a beginner Canon Ae-1 to help me ease into film but impulse got the best of me and I had to snatched a Contax 645 (with an 80mm Zeiss lens!) as soon as I found one (darn those successful marketing tools truthfully telling me they’re in limited supplies!). I definitely plan on taking it EVERYWHERE we travel (we’ve planned a trip for Japan and Iceland this year btw, eek!). And I’m not sure how anyone can be more excited about already traveling to Japan and Iceland but ever since this camera came into my life, I am just jumping off walls with excitement. I can’t wait to capture some pretty cherry blossoms and Icelandic horses on film! Woohoo! Hey, do you think I’m addicted?