There’s this dream, or rather more like a nightmare, that I keep having every now and again, and last night was probably the 30th time it happened. The scenery is different, but the characters and storyline is the same each time. It’s me and my first ex and in one shape or form, we’re about to be married. And every time, it plays out like this: It’s the morning of the wedding and I’m getting ready, then I come to the realization that who I’m with (my ex) is certainly not who I want to marry. I question repetitively how am I with him again. I frantically try to escape the situation, which is usually me confronting/breaking up with the ex. In this last dream, I did it right in the middle of the tea ceremony. Sometimes, and these were the more worse dreams, I don’t even make it to the end where the break up happens, I’m just stuck in the relationship. Then I wake up with bitter feelings, remnants from the dream.
My relationship with the guy wasn’t an abusive one, at least not physically. In hind sight, I should have gotten out of the relationship much sooner than I did. I felt trapped. I felt like he held me back on so many levels. It was suffocating. And those were the primary feelings those dreams conjure up each time. If it could stop, that’d be great. Do I need to see a therapist for this? I don’t think these dreams have affected my daytime routine. It just leaves me feeling sour in the morning. Then it’s forgotten, until the next time it happens again.