Help

Kallen’s parents are finally here! They’re staying with us for 2 weeks to help and I’ve probably asked them to stay forever about 100 times. So appreciate any help we can get!

I can maybe finally make some shopping trips and perhaps indulge in a haircut (it’s been >2 years since my last one!). 

And I almost forgot to mention this past Sunday I second shot a wedding at 5.5 weeks postpartum! I think I made the commitment before I found out I was pregnant and I couldn’t bare to back out but honestly, it felt so good to be out of the house and away for a day. It was the longest I’ve been apart from Emmett (8+ hrs) since his birth and truth be told I didn’t feel guilty one bit. The stir-crazy was real and spending some time apart definitely helped.

And as much as I enjoyed the time away and interacting with other adults other than Kallen, I also really missed this face. 

He’s getting so big and his appetite shows no signs of slowing down. A part of me feels nostalgic for when he was so new and tiny but another part of me can’t wait until he’s more communicative and is able to sleep for longer stretches. There’s a good chance he might be our only one so I’m trying to cherish each milestones including little nuances like his cute but blood curling cries. When laying next to him last night I had a quick thought about him becoming a teenager and I almost broke down and cry. Days can be long right now with him but time seemingly flies by. 

We did a thing today

Emmett’s second adventure today was taking a walk with me to the voting poll (first adventure was to Costco last week). 

I must admit I almost didn’t want to participate in voting this year mostly because there wasn’t a candidate or proposition I particularly cared for. But honestly seeing how passionate some people are about having this right, I decided to take some time yesterday in between feeding Emmett to do some research. Sure enough, there’s a prop proposing to end daylight savings and truth be told, that’s what brought me to the voting poll. 

On a different note, it felt really nice to be out of the house. It gives me a much needed resurgence of energy. Though it takes a bit of planning (i.e. Making sure he needs to be fed and changed beforehand), I should make it a priority to get out more often. Definitely easier said than done when having to deal with feeding, pumping, and diaper changes (and the occasional blowouts) around the clock.

This super soft solly baby wrap has been quite useful although at only 10lbs, he’s already feeling pretty heavy. This was one of our splurge baby items and I was worried we wouldn’t know how to use it or that he wouldn’t like being in it. Glad to report that it only took a couple of tries to get use to putting it on and Emmett doesn’t mind it as long as he’s well fed. I highly recommend.

A month with Emmett

The most blissful thing is getting to see how alert, talkative, and active he’s becoming. Every time he smiles at me, my heart grows a little bigger. I can’t get enough of seeing how in love my family is with him. My parents, especially. It’s all so precious. 

Fortunately I haven’t had any cases of the baby blues but there have been challenging moments. The hardest (and most surprising) is breastfeeding. It’s not as natural as I’d expect and the soreness and pain doesn’t go away. Honestly, I wish I had read more on how to prepare for breastfeeding as much as I read to prepare for parenting and childbirth. Not many people tell you how hard it is. It is HARD. I’m hoping I can make it to at least 6 months. But as hard as it is sometimes, I love looking down and seeing his sweet innocent eyes starring back up at me. People say this phase goes by way too fast so I try to keep that in perspective. 

My other two babies. Thankfully they’ve seem to accept Emmett. We were most worried about Machu but after the 2nd week, he didn’t mind Emmett so much anymore. I do feel guilty though that I’m not able to give them as many hugs and kisses or take them on walks. But I’m trying to give myself grace and believe that things will get better in time, especially when Emmett is able to sleep or entertain himself for longer stretches at a time. 

With Emmett attached to me almost 24/7, I do find myself cherishing every second I’m able to take long showers and eat sitting down without a baby in my arms. It doesn’t last very long but I appreciate those 10-15 minutes so much now. 

Really excited to see this little guy continue to develop and grow. 

Dear little guy,

Emmett, you came on a Tuesday afternoon, on 10/2/18, weighing 8lb and 21 inches long. You have my lips and Kallen’s eyes. It’s been a very tough week since bringing you home, but do know that we love you through your endless cries and multitudes of blowouts. Feeding you have been the biggest struggle. My heart breaks seeing you frustrated from the many failed attempts at latching. I’m guilty of wanting to give up breastfeeding. I’m guilty of not wanting to put you down because you’ll wake up and want to feed again despite eating just minutes ago. I worry I’m not producing enough milk. I’m convinced my lack of sleep is the reason why. My nips are sore and my lady parts feel like it’ll fall apart at any moment. Your father and I probably argued more times this week than the entire 7 years we’ve been together. 

But through all the above, I still think everything you do and all the cries you make, is the cutest thing. I love looking down and smelling your sweet hair. I think you look so silly with your toothless grin and wailings.

I hope you know I cherish you. 

I hope you know Kallen adores you too. I can hear him sneak kisses from you in between each diaper change.

We hope you give us grace as we try to navigate your cries. We may not get it right each time (is it your diaper, gas, hunger, or just need a good comforting rocking?), but we’ll eventually get it. 

Made it to 9 months!

This was definitely a big risk we took for not only my health but also the potential health of our baby so we’re for sure counting our lucky stars we’ve come this far. We did have a few hiccups along the way (was hospitalized for possible kidney infection and severe anemia) but thankfully treatment helped kept things stable. 

Do I look excited to meet baby? Because I really am! So grateful baby is being patient and have waited until after my brother’s wedding to make his/her appearance! 

Caricature artist at my brother’s wedding drew us but I think the most accurate is probably my belly. Hehe

It was the most beautiful venue! (Big daddy’s antique).

And finally, how fitting is it that I’m closing out this season with a baby announcement session right before baby arrives? 

Baby, you’re welcome to come now whenever you’re ready! 

Minimalist nursery (and misc. update)

Our nusery is literally just a mattress on the floor. Actually, it’s a mattress topper. Regardless, I can’t wait to spend my days cuddling up to a little nugget there.

Baby’s clothes currently only fills up half of one of the brown baskets and it’s making me question if we’ll have a half naked baby midway through each week.  

I advocated for no baby shower but this picture below and seeing close family and friends together was really nice, despite the stained shirt and PJ bottom with ripped holes I wore when I first walked in to the surprised shower.

And lastly, I’m almost 35 weeks! (Wearing undies here because pants in bed has been irrelevant since week 25 thanks to the personal heater in belly)

I’m definitely nervous about how this little man is going to react to a new human in our space. But we have high hopes that slowly introducing baby similar to how we introduced foster kitty Yuuki may work. Crossing our fingers and toes it does.

Anniversary dinner on a budget, plus babe and bump stuff

Our two-year anniversary dinner, (Hawaiian sea-salt encrusted prime ribeye steak, creamed spinach, stuffed baked potato, and cronuts from Paris baguette) adorned with a chipped plate and fancy workout shorts and all. 

It’s been so long since we’ve had a fancy sit down dinner out that when I asked Kallen how much our anniversary bill would have been at Forbes, he naively said $50. He was probably just a hair shy of an extra $100 (not including drinks and desserts.)

We’re trying to stay laser focus on paying our student loans and occasionally still enjoy a bit of life when we can.

And with a little babe on the way, life enjoyment nowadays include making little purchases like these:

Cute and functional, but mainly uber cute.

In other related news, I’ve made it a little past 32 weeks (8 months)! Just another month and I can breathe a huge sigh of relief for achieving full term. This pregnancy hasn’t been all smooth-sailing, but given the circumstances, we expected a lot worse and so grateful baby is healthy and have made it this far.

Baby is a kicker, tumbler, and roller who doesn’t go through less than 3 bouts of hiccups per day (and at least one of which is in the middle of the night). Nights these days are filled with restlessness from intermittent kicks from baby. Baby is already making it known who the real boss will be. Yep, I’m already surrendering to you little one, white flag raised. As much as I’ll miss the belly, I can’t wait to officially meet you.

“You look like a squash”

Says my husband after seeing a photo of me at 27 weeks. 

Then he proceeds to google an image of said squash and shows me this:

Here is said photo:

He just seems to have a way with words doesn’t he? Haha

But honestly, despite the discomfort of round ligament pain and struggles of getting up from any sitting/laying positions, I already feel like I’m going to miss this belly. I’m going to miss feeling the kicks, the rolls, and the more recent discovery of hiccups. I’m going to miss it all. 

Happy Father’s Day, love

Missing this guy

We knew we weren’t going to keep him forever but I didn’t want to give him up so soon. Maybe it’s my hormones, but it’s only been 2 days but I miss him terribly. 

Kallen became overprotective of me and decided it was time kitty goes. So now he’s with my brother for now until my they sister takes him permanently in a few months.